GUEST BLOGGER: Not everyone will want you to SUCCEED By Vanessa Dewsbury

Creating Your Presence

We all hope for support and encouragement from our friends and family when we venture off on a journey of turning our dreams into reality, but the unfortunate truth is, not everyone will want you to succeed…and why is that?

There are some people who are triggered by the success of others because it makes them question their own life.  When someone sees you where they want to be or where they think they “should be,” it can create feelings of jealousy and resentment, and some people operate in competitive or comparative mode.  They either view you as competition so they are not supportive of your success or they compare themselves to others and if they perceive you are “doing better” than they are, they lack offering you any kind of encouragement.  And some of your friends or family don’t want you to succeed because they fear you may drastically…

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Men Have Feelings Too

Men have feelings, too. It's true, they really do.

Men have feelings, too.

It’s true, they really do.

Woman are beautiful creatures, often wearing our emotions on our sleeves for the world to see, and we hold no shame or guilt for being vulnerable and free with our feelings.

Many men, on the other hand, have been taught to hide their feelings. They’ve been told by mentors, friends, fathers, that crying is a sign of weakness.

While it’s difficult enough hearing it from other men, some woman carry the same torch – a man should be stone, not soft, not in touch with their feelings.

So, where does that leave men?
Severely stressed, tight with tension, and often overcome by anxiety and depression.

We all know how it feels to have a good cry – it is a cleansing form of release.
If men are conditioned to believe crying is a ‘womanly thing,’ how do they find release?

Anger, frustration, projection, or they show no emotion at all. And let’s be honest, when we encounter someone who doesn’t express emotion towards us, either positive or negative, it can frustrate us. We unconsciously feel like they don’t care. But, they do usually care, they just don’t know how to express their emotions and show vulnerability without feeling like ‘less of a man.’ It’s just not something they were taught.

What if men were encouraged to show their emotions? What if they were told it’s okay to be vulnerable and real and cry if they need to?  If we gave them ‘permission’ to express their feelings in a safe space, then perhaps this would relieve the years of stress and tension they’ve been holding within, and thus prevent future stress by opening doors to a new way of communication.

Some of the most amazing men I know show their sensitive side and are completely comfortable with showing emotion. I know these men to be healthy, strong, compassionate and empathetic human beings. This is often referred to as a man’s feminine side.

It should be their natural side.

Many men feel as though they are carrying the weight of the world on their shoulders. Unlike women, however, men don’t often talk openly with their friends and family about how they’re feeling. They just endure, sometimes enormous amounts of stress without expressing in a healthy way. Or at all. A lot of men feel women can be very critical of them, which makes them not want to open up, and their egos tend to be slightly more stubborn than the average woman’s.

If you find your partner or loved one is uncomfortable with showing emotion or sharing their feelings, be sure to let them know that you’re there to listen…without judgment. Avoid pointing fingers, blaming and becoming defensive when communicating, and instead show compassion, empathy and understanding.

And most importantly, be patience with progress.

Everything takes time, and if you’re wanting your partner to feel like he can be more open with you, it will definitely take time and patience.

“That was one of the saddest things about people–their most important thoughts and feelings often went unspoken and barely understood.”


~ Alexandre Adornette

My Journey to Reiki

I'm often asked how I started my Journey to Reiki Energy Healing. Here is my story.

I’m often asked how I started my Journey to Reiki Energy Healing.

Here is my story.

The truth is, I had no idea what Reiki was until I took a Reiki course a month after discovering this powerful natural healing method.

I experienced health issues for more than three years, and these health issues not only consumed my body, but more so, my mind.

I had candida overgrowth, which was triggered in February 2012 when I started taking the birth control pill. These strange red rashes and odd-looking hives started showing up on my body a few days before my monthly cycle. My face would flare up in such a bright shade of red that it look like my skin had been burned in a fire.

I had frequent doctor visits and trips to walk-in clinics and hospitals during the following three years, however, no one had a clue as to what was going on. Ironically, I would visit my doctor after a bad flare-up and she would order more blood tests at the same time she was handing me more boxes of birth control, the very thing  my body was reacting to.

The hives went from monthly flare-ups to an every day occurrence. My skin was so dry and itchy, especially at night, I had to sleep with gloves pinned to my pajamas. I would wake up in the middle of the night to find I had tore off the gloves and scratched my skin until it bled.

I had started to react and have allergies to almost everything, from grass and leaves to apples and alcohol. It was so bad that I started to develop a fear of food. I was scared to eat. Every bite I put into my mouth caused  anxiety.

My health issues not only effected me, severely, they also effected my family. I was in a new relationship at the time and dealing with my monthly flare-ups, which left me feeling and looking like a “monster” in my mind, and it was extremely difficult to deal with. I was consumed and fixated on getting better, I needed to get better. Unfortunately this left me isolating myself and spending hours on Google. I searched anything and everything. I soon developed health anxiety and every  symptom or flare-up I experienced left me in a state of fear. I was convinced I was going to die.

Besides having hives, the symptoms I experienced were eczema, allergic reactions, extremely dry skin, itchy ears, vertigo, headaches, hot flashes, blurred vision, social anxiety, digestive issues (including bloating even after a small meal), insomnia, lack of energy, and many more.

I needed to get better, I needed to heal myself, and I was determined to do it naturally.

I was sitting on my couch one day and I took a drink of a hot chocolate I had just purchased, and soon after came the hives. I said to myself, ‘wait a second, this hot chocolate is full of sugar, could it be the sugar causing all of this?’ I started to recall my other major flare-ups and when they occurred. Wine, lots of sugar, bread, more sugar, chocolate…definitely sugar. I knew I was onto to something.

I immediately grabbed my iPad and started Googling ‘sugar and hives’.  Sure enough, up pops an article on Mind, Body and Green about something called Candida, a yeast overgrowth. I read the symptoms and discovered I had almost every  one of them. For the first time in more than three years, I became hopeful.

I can’t recall exactly how I met my friend, Julie Tibbles, but she does something called BIE, a form of energy testing for various conditions in your body. I contacted her and we booked an appointment. I was so excited to meet her and to get some answers. I knew intuitively that Julie was going to be able to help me, I could finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. Julie tested me for many things and, as suspected, Candida was the culprit. I learned I also suffered from Adrenal Fatigue from past and current stress. From there, Julie set a plan for me, which including following a 30-day cleanse. I followed the plan precisely without cheating once, and within 30 days, I lost 25 pounds. While the weight loss was a pleasant surprise, I was overjoyed when all of my allergies disappeared and my skin looked younger then it had in years. I had bounds of energy again. I had forgotten what it felt like to feel well.

So, how does Reiki fit in here? During the time I experienced my health issues, I was led down the path of natural healing and drawn to the aspects and many benefits of Reiki. However, I didn’t feel I was ready to help others on their healing journey until I healed myself.

Six months after taking the Reiki course and finding answers to my health issues, I opened Soul Alive Barrie. I was ready and set with the intentions of helping whomever walked through my door.

Almost three years later I have treated more than 200 people. I have helped woman who were having difficulty conceiving become pregnant by relieving their stress and putting their body back into balance. Clients who were told they ‘need’ anxiety medication come for regular treatments, as it’s the only way for them to find relief without resorting to the medication. I have treated people with broken hearts and stories of past trauma and death, as well as children as young as five years old who experience anxiety and other conditions.

Before my journey to Reiki I knew deep down inside I was supposed to be of service to others, helping others find their joy again, and to assist them on their own healing journeys. So here I am, doing what I know I was meant to do.

There is nothing more satisfying then knowing you have helped someone feel alive again, that you have helped them feel happy, healthy, and healed.

I’m truly thankful for my past health issues. If I didn’t experience my own pain and healing, I truly believe I would not be doing the very thing that I love – helping others.

My passion, is my purpose.

Are You Overly Sensitive?

Sensitive-natured beings are easily affected by the emotions of others and are often referred to as being empaths. An Empath is a person who can consciously and unconsciously tune in to the emotional experience of a person, place or animal.

Do people tell you that you’re too sensitive, you care too much, or you get hurt too easily?Sensitive-natured beings are easily affected by the emotions of others and are often referred to as being empaths. An Empath is a person who can consciously and unconsciously tune in to the emotional experience of a person, place or animal. The emotions they experience whether good or bad, can cause these individuals to feel happy and joyful or anxious and unsettled depending on the situation.

When they are around people who aren’t being ‘authentic,’ in nature, empaths can feel uncomfortable and at a loss for words.  They often avoid small talk, meaningless conversations and they prefer not to watch movies or T.V. shows that include any kind of violence.  They feel physically sick when witnessing abuse to people and animals.  They can withdrawal immediately when confronted by someone who is angry or frustrated, and they often take things very personally and hold onto these feelings longer than others finding it difficult to let go.

Sensitive people are very in touch with their feelings and in tune with their bodies. They know when something feels ‘off’ and they typically only express their emotions with someone if they feel ‘safe’ and will not share with just anyone. On the other hand, people seem to be drawn to sensitive and empathetic people; they feel an instant sense of safety and trust, and openly share deep emotional traumas they have experienced or are experiencing.  You will find complete strangers being drawn to the energy of a empath.  I believe it’s an unconscious connection and inner knowing that they will understand and listen without judgment.

Because sensitive people have a heightened sense of the energies in their surroundings, many tend to withdrawal in social situations so they are not ‘exposed’ or called upon. It is easier to hide at the back of the room than it is to be the centre of attention for an empath. Being constantly aware of the emotions and energies of others can cause turmoil and anxiety, which can affect their own state of mind and well-being.

I personally have trouble in crowded locations like the mall or Walmart, as I find myself feeling anxious, unsettled and even dizzy at times. You may find yourself unaffected by some locations, but troubled by others.

There are a few steps you can follow to protect yourself when in social situations or when you are feeling overcome with the emotion:

  • Seek out other sensitive souls who understand you. You’re definitely not alone and you may learn from them how to better master and embrace your own sensitive super powers.
  • Treat yourself with care and compassion. Understand that you are a unique and loving individual who truly cares for the well-being of others; we need more people like you!
  • Be mindful of what you put into your body. Conscious eating can be very important. Sugar, alcohol and other stimulates tend to have a negative effect on sensitive/empathetic  people.
  • Don’t hesitate to set boundaries to protect your nature.  If you are not okay with something, communicate how you’re feeling with certainty and confidence.  Trust in yourself.
  • Don’t allow others to take advantage of you because of your loving and giving nature.  Say ‘no’ when you need to.  It’s okay.
  • Remember the pain of others is not yours. Be an observer, not an ‘absorber’ of each experience.
  • It is not always your feelings that you are feeling.  Ask yourself, “is this mine” and listen for your answer.  You’d be surprised how much this simple tool can help.
  • And lastly, keep being YOU, the authentic beautiful you who holds a heart of love and hope. You are an individual who understands the importance of human connection and compassion.

“An empath is capable of taking on the grief of another in order to lessen their suffering. In order to not be consumed with pain, an empath should have an outlet for that pain lest they lose themselves in feeling for others.”
~ Donna Lynn Hope

Do You Listen To Your Intuition?

owl, intuition, reiki, wisdom, clarity, business, success, energy

Our intuition acts as our internal guidance system, our source of inner wisdom and insight, and often ‘knows’ things before our minds do.That inexplicable sensation we all know could be considered our intuitive operating system. It sends us unconscious messages, often described as gut feelings.

Have you ever said, “I should have listened to my gut.”?  You probably should have, and you probably should more!

Many business leaders and professionals rely on the guidance of their intuition, basing their decisions on how they ‘feel’ about a situation or circumstance, and do so successfully.

How many of us use our intuitive operating system in our day-to-day lives?

How would our lives be different if we listened to our intuition more and trusted what we ‘feel’?

We often over-analyze situations, looking from a place of logic instead of listening to the messages from our internal guidance system.

I believe if we trusted more in our own capabilities and the power we hold within, our lives could be very different.

How does one tap into their intuition and use it at it’s full potential? Here are some suggestions.

  1. Quiet your mind.  We are often so busy in our heads that the constant chatter overrides the act of being present, in the moment, or just being still. When we quiet our mind, we are able to hear our intuition above the chaos and noise.
  2. Meditate. If you’re stuck on a decision, try mediation. Meditation isn’t about stopping your thoughts, it’s about slowing them down. Sometimes the answer is within the question; it’s right there, but we need to slow down our busy thoughts to receive our answer.
  3. Journalling. When we journal our thoughts, it awakens our  creativity. I believe that when we connect with our creative sides, it strengthens our intuition.  The two go hand-in-hand. Try journalling a page a day, even if you don’t know what to write; the act of writing whatever comes to mind can enhance your intuition.
  4. Pay attention to your dreams. Sometimes the answers we seek come to us in our dreams. It’s a time for our unconscious thoughts to make an appearance. Journal your dreams when they seem profound and intense; they may carry the messages you need to hear.
  5. Trust your gut. Your gut knows, and I can’t emphasize that enough. It’s the inclination to take a different route from work, walk a different way home, or the unsettling feeling your get about a prospective client. That is your inner wisdom and guidance steering your clear. If something doesn’t feel right, trust that feeling.
  6. Step away from the situation. Don’t feel like you must make a decision under pressure.  If you aren’t sure about something, step back, listen to the messages you are getting, and work from that place of peace and clarity.  Then trust in your decision.
  7. Remember to always be yourself. How does that enhance your intuition? When you are your true authentic self, it gives yourself permission to be all you are and your intuition is a vital part of you. The more authentic you are in nature, the more you confidence you gain in self, which allows you to connect with all levels of who you are and what you are.

“In a study, published in 2005 in The Journal of the American Dietetic Association, women who practiced intuitive eating over the course of two years maintained their weight and achieved lower cholesterol levels, lower blood pressure, higher self-esteem, and greater levels of physical activity—while women who dieted over the same period regained any weight they managed to lose and experienced no improvements in their physical or mental health. Further research has shown that intuitive eaters are less likely to think about how their body appears to others, and more likely to spend time considering how their body feels and functions.

Tune In: Becoming an intuitive eater requires the willingness to sit and listen to your stomach’s signals. Eat every three to four hours, before extreme hunger sets in, and stop when you feel nourished and energized, not stuffed. Imagining the portion you want to consume before a meal—and what that will physically feel like afterward—is another way to start trusting your gut.”

A Balanced Ego Is A Healthy Ego

I know you probably think you don't have an ego but the truth is, everyone does. Your ego is a part of who you are and, when it is in balance, it can be a good thing.

I know you probably think you don’t have an ego but the truth is, everyone does.Your ego is a part of who you are and, when it is in balance, it can be a good thing.

Our ego drives our desire to look good, professional, presentable. Without it, we simply wouldn’t care. It can drive us to success and to achieve what we want in life. It helps build our confidence and reminds us that we are good enough, and that we are amazing!

Ego also inspires a leader’s ability to take charge and to take initiative.

I’m sure you’ve heard yourself say, “This isn’t my ego talking here but…”  That’s an unconscious understanding that an ego exists within you.

But when our egos aren’t in balance, it can cause us to be insecure, judgmental, and unforgiving.

How do you know when your ego isn’t in balance?

  • You are quick to judge others and you feel inferior to them.
  • You engage in frequent drama, gossiping and pointing out what you perceive to be ‘wrong’ in others.
  • You have a belief that you are better than everyone else; a balanced ego is having the understanding that you ARE awesome, but you don’t think you’re better than others.
  • You talk mostly about yourself and lack a general awareness of others and asking about them and how they are.
  • You don’t like seeing others succeed, even your own friends or family.
  • You tend to point fingers and blame others when something doesn’t go right; your ‘ego’ refuses to be wrong.
  • It can make you live in a state of low self confidence, especially if you find that you often compare yourself to others.
  • Ego can be stubborn and doesn’t forgive easy, or at all. ​

So how do you balance your ego to a healthy state?

  • Give up the need to be right.  You can’t possibly always be right, can you?
  • Listen to others.  It is said that when speaking with someone, it’s important to listen 80% of the time and speak 20% of the time.
  • Encourage and support others and applaud their successes.  Celebrate with them gracefully.
  • Be aware if your ego is fragile or confident. Do you get hurt and offended easily or do you stay high in self confidence and self awareness?
  • Develop the ability to better understand others.  Ask questions, be curious of those around you, and be interested in what others do.
  • Practice forgiveness and letting go.

Your ego is a key to your self development and self awareness so it’s important to ensure that it is healthy and balanced. When we release control and any denial of who we are, it offers an interesting and new feeling of freedom.  You give light to what’s within you. We can’t change what we don’t acknowledge and if you want to work on balancing your ego, first understand your ego exists.

Acknowledgment and responsibility create change.

“Try to understand the ego. Analyze it, dissect it, watch it, observe it, from as many angles as possible. And don’t be in a hurry to sacrifice it, otherwise the greatest egoist is born: the person who thinks he is humble, the person who thinks that he has no ego.”
~ Osho

Are Direct Sales People Driving You Crazy?!

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Are you annoyed by the influx of direct sales people who seem to have surfaced within the last several years?If so, why is that?

I’m not a direct sales representative, but I do respect their pursuit. Being self-employed and owning two successful businesses myself, I respect those who are trying to achieve the pleasures that sweet freedom brings. I admire those who have the courage to take the risk all in hopes of the gain. They are tired of working for someone else, they crave independence, and most importantly, they want to be home with their families; who wouldn’t want to work from the comfort of their own home with endless cups of coffee at arms reach?

I’m going to share a different perspective that may change how you view direct sales companies.

By bringing the experience to your doorstep and offering products that can’t be found anywhere else, the more than 10,000 direct sales companies worldwide remove the task of having to leave your home to shop. Many direct sales representatives are knowledgeable about the products they sell and have invested their time, money and energy to add value to the services they’re providing their customers.

So perhaps instead of having an emotional attachment and being triggered by what you see or hear from direct sales reps, try listening and observing without judgement; it doesn’t have to be viewed with any ‘negative’ label or limiting belief. It’s a matter of someone working hard on their success in order to make a living on their own terms.

I’m sure you have heard a story or two regarding shady direct sales companies and their practices, but the same can be said in regards to other so-called reputable businesses or companies. Unfortunately, it’s a fact of life.

Everyone is as busy as they want to be when it comes to their success, and a career in direct sales is an opportunity for those who want to work from home and be there for their families. The details and job description may be different than yours, but the intention is the same.  To make a living and to be happy while doing so.

“Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.”
~ Thomas Edison

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Many direct sales reps have reported an increase in their self esteem and self confidence, and have seen improvement in their professional and sales skills. It is also a huge bonus that their lives become more flexible by having the ability to set their own schedule.Now what can be a bit of an annoyance is those Facebook friend requests with an instant invite or add to a group. Most people I have talked to about this appreciate a friendly message first to ask the person about themselves and their business. It’s important to build relationships and connect with people on a personal level, in any business, rather than sending an immediate ‘cold’ invite asking you to “like” a business page when you may not know anything about the company.  So reaching out to people is the best and most effective way to connect with others.

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At the end of the day, we all pretty much live in survival mode, trying to provide for our families and striving to make ends meet in a way that is most pleasurable and beneficial to our mental, emotional, physical and spiritual health.We are all doing our best with what we know, and we’re doing what we do best.

So be mindful of being triggered by all the direct sales people you meet or the posts you see; your reaction is always a reflection of your inner world. If something effects your energy, there might be something below the surface that needs to be addressed.

Remaining as an observer in the game of life will bring you inner freedom and peace. Observe without judgment and keep your focus on creating your own happiness and success.

“What we really want to do is what we are really meant to do. When we do what we are meant to do, money comes to us, doors open for us, we feel useful, and the work we do feels like play to us.”
~ Julia Cameron